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I'm sorry… I miss you so much…

by Jessica Miller


 

Jessica,

This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I have known you for such a long time and this “accident” has made me miss you dearly. I know that your not gone, you are very much still here. And you will always be here in my heart. You’ll be here to help me with my hard days and guide me through my easier ones.
I miss so many things about you I miss your smile. You had such a comforting and warming smile; it could make me happy any day no matter what kind of mood I was in. I miss your smarts and how you would always help people… simple people like me. I don’t know how im going to make it through language arts III. You always helped me in language ever since the 7th grade. But Jessie most of all I miss your face. I miss seeing you. I go see you at the cemetery all the time but it’s just not the same. I can’t talk to you and have you answer my confusing questions.
All I do any more is think about you. I remember how in elementary we couldn’t stand each other because we were both jealous of each other I was more jealous of you because you were perfect and I wasn’t, so I was mean to you. At your visitation I went to hug your little brother and he said “Hey you’re the girl that spit gum in my sisters hair”. I just broke down in tears and he said back to me “Its okay though because you guys became friends and she liked you so it’s ok don’t cry”. So after your brother told me that I felt a little better. But that still will not make up for all the times we did fight and I was mean to you. I just wanted to tell you that I am so very sorry and I love you and I will miss you until the day I die.
Now that you’re gone I feel like I need to go to church so from now on im going to try to go to every Sunday morning service, because of you Jessica Lynn Kaiser. You have made a BIG impact on my life and you will continue to do that.
Jessie I just want to tell you don’t worry about Chance. Melissa and I will take good care of him. He feels like he is lost without you. We have been trying to make him feel better; we go out to the movies and stuff, but mostly we go to see you. We always drive really slow down the gravel road so that we can pick you wild flowers. Melissa always hangs her body out of my car and I pull close enough so that she can pick them form the car. By the time we get to the cemetery you have a HUGE bunch of flowers. Last night Melissa, Chance, your little sister Molly and myself all went and see Catwoman. I wish with all my heart you could have been there in person because I know you were there in spirit. You were there laughing right along with us I just wish I could have heard you laughing one more time. Slowly I am starting to forget how your voice sounded. I hope I never forget completely.
As I put my letter to a close I just want to say I love you Jessica and I always will. I will miss you for the rest of my life, but I will also remember you for the rest of my life. Thank GOD for memories. I love you ill see you again someday. When I see you, you have to show me your beautiful mansion and all of your beautiful horses

Goodbyes are not forever so goodbye for now. Ill see you someday
I love you